Short lived romance: How to break up fast

Ask Alea: Alea, I went on two dates with a girl I met at school. How do I break up fast with her? Thanks, J (21, M, AZ)

 

It is always best to approach the other person with the kindness and respect that you would want to receive in a similar situation. A simple, honest, concise answer is the best. I recommend stating “It was great (a pleasure, wonderful, fun, etc) to get to know you the past couple of days. However, I think we are on different pages about what we need, or what we are looking for. I hope we can be friends, and if not I understand that. I hope you find what you are looking for.” or “I had a great time meeting you, but I don’t think I’m ready to go any further at this point. You really deserve the best and I hope you find it!”

It’s good to keep the answer short, simple, and kind. Try to use “I statements” rather than “you statements.” If the person is looking for more of an answer then you should be honest, but in a way that is thoughtful of their feelings.

For example if they say: “what do you mean different pages?”

You can respond with: “I am not looking for something serious right now and I want to respect your needs” or “I had been dating someone else before we met, and at this time things with her are getting more serious, but I wanted to be fair to you, and be honest that I would like to put things with us on pause.” 

If you have further questions, or want more examples just go to the contact tab and Ask Alea!