Love Skills
The bibliotherapy Love Skills:A fun Upbeat Guide to Sex-cessful Relationships by Dr. Linda DeVillers is an intriguing and hands on learning tool for individuals and couples in need of sexual awakening or reawakening. Love Skills provides new skills to novices and advanced readers alike as well as offering humor and support to those in need of encouragement for further self and sexual exploration. The book is based around four main love skills: LoveTalk, BodyLove, LoveTouch, and LovePlay. Each skill helps the individual and couple explore more deeplty and passionately their relationship. Each skill encourages self-exploration, self-esteem, communication, support, and creativity.
As a professional I would suggest many of the exercises presented in this book. I believe it is very important to have a healthy body image and personal self worth before being able to being comfortable with a lover. To trust and love yourself is the first step in trusting and loving another. To have a “sex-cessful” relationship in the bedroom as well as everyday experiences one must truly understand themselves and their own body. It is also helpful to understand your lover’s body and be open to learning about what makes them happy. I would suggest the exercises on body image, especially for beginners replacing messages of shame and guilt (p. 81). After both individuals have an understanding of their own genitals and body image, I would suggest learning about each other’s genitals and what turns the other person on. Exploring self-pleasure together (p. 88) I think is a very good exercise for all couples. Then as couples become more understanding of each other’s needs through LoveTalk and LovePlay, I would suggest “royal treatment” exercise (p. 174). Many times giving is just as rewarding as receiving. It is very important for both people in a relationship to feel mutually understood and cared for. The royal treatment allows for the complete undivided love and caring that makes one feel special and loved.
However the exercise dialogue with your body (p. 95) did not interest me. I felt it was comical and I could not take it seriously. However, for someone who is very fearful of their body, this may be an easy first step into understanding why they feel certain ways about their body. I think it is a useful exercise for novices.
Overall I would highly recommend Love Skills:A fun Upbeat Guide to Sex-cessful Relationships to all individuals and who would like new tips for increasing love and trust and passion. The new techniques Love Skills provides to novices and advanced will have you excited about experiencing a deeper sense of connectedness to your own body and to your lover’s. Readers will find that the exercises offer humor, support, and encouragement for safe and exciting sexual exploration. These exercises and skills will help the individual and couple find new and meaningful ways to express love and desire in their relationship. Whether you are looking to create a more passionate love life or just want the basics answered this book will help you explore places of your brain, heart, and genitals you never knew.
